Jet's birth story....

With less than 2 weeks to go until Jet turns 2 I have started sharing Jet's birth story with anyone and everyone and it has felt really good to finally let it go... So I am putting it up here also...
Here it is along with the intro that I gave to family members...

It has been nearly 2 years since my beautiful Jet was born, and for nearly 2 years I have kept mostly secret the truth surrounding his birth, felt ashamed, embarrassed and guilty that a day that though it brought us our beautiful son, was incredibly traumatic and has left me scarred emotionally.
I am thankful to my psychologist who finally addressed the problems that others seemed to ignore, or did not notice??? and subsequently diagnosed me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
With her support I am working through the emotional scars that Jet's birth has left with me, I am seeking legal advice, and I am feeling stronger everyday.It is time for me to let go of Jet's story and let anyone who wishes to, read it for themselves....feel free to share it with anyone who you think make gain something from it. It is a great example of how a birth should NOT be....
There is NO shame, NO embarrassment and NO guilt any longer.This IS what happened to me, it IS a part of me and I am trying my hardest to not let it rule me anymore!!!
Of course it is up to you whether or not you read it, I don't want anyone to read it if they are truly not comfortable to do so....maybe leave it for a later date, maybe not at all? It’s all okay :)
And lastly, if you feel the need to comment, I would really appreciate it if you could; if possible, do so by email, though I am not embarrassed by it, it is such an emotional thing to talk about I still find it a little confronting to communicate verbally about it.
Cheers
April :)

Jet’s birth.
Written as I remember it, 5/03/2007.
Saturday 26th March I had to go to the hospital for CTG monitoring and to have urine checked for protein. Blood pressure had been rising and also had lots of fluid retention - had been in overnight on the Wednesday before (@ 37weeks), also for monitoring, but at that stage blood pressure was up, but no protein in urine.
Dr K had told me that if there was protein present (meaning that I had developed Pre Eclampsia) then she would think about inducing me.There was protein in the urine so I was admitted, they couldn’t get a hold of Dr as she was in Melbourne, so I was in limbo until an OB (Dr B) came in later telling me that they had decided to induce me. So he applied the gel to my cervix (R held my hand), I was given sleeping tablets (which didn’t work) and was left to try and sleep overnight… Which I didn’t really because I was so nervous and excited to think that I would be holding my little boy in my arms the next day, also had some period like cramps but not painful, just a weird feeling.
Around breakfast time (8ish?) on the Sunday (Easter Sunday) I rang Jamie just to say ‘Hi’, no sooner had I hung up the phone when Dr B marched in and announced ‘It’s time to have this baby’, so I had to call Jamie to come up to the hospital NOW!I had to put on a hospital gown and was taken around to the delivery room. When we got up there they tried to find a better place to put a drip into my hand or arm because where Dr B had put it in the night before meant I couldn’t move my hand.
Because of the fluid retention veins were hard to find, countless attempts to put a drip in were made, all painful. One Dr K thought went into a vein, so she injected saline…it had not (I now have (sometimes painful) scar tissue there). I was crying and where the drip had been previously bled all over the front of my hospital gown, despite me holding pressure to it and having it raised.
Eventually, because I was crying and in so much pain, Dr injected local anaesthetic into several potential drip sites in my arm (C was there holding my hand) and finally a drip was in place. I had to change into a clean gown and then they were ready to break my waters.S the student midwife arrived at some point.I remember Jamie holding my hand and stroking my hair, I was pretty scared, C and S were also there.I had to lie there with my knees up and Dr K broke my waters with a crochet hook like thing.
It was extremely painful and I tried really hard to wriggle my toes and breathe through it (at which point Dr K was saying ‘good girl’), but it was so extreme and intense that I went from saying ‘Ow, ow, ow’ to just screaming. I felt almost like I had left my body, I couldn’t control the scream, it just kept going and getting louder.I remember a huge gush and then Dr K saying that it was okay, that they were done and everything was okay.
After this they had the CTG monitor on my belly but it kept losing Jet’s heart beat so they decided to attach a monitor to his head.Jamie was again at my head, I also remember S and C being there, S was in the background somewhere.Dr K did an internal, again EXTREMELY PAINFUL and me screaming. Some time around here I began wishing that I wasn’t there and that I could just go home and stop all the pain.
Attaching the monitor to Jet’s head took a ridiculously long time and countless efforts, maybe 5 or 6???Again so painful I was screaming out of control. It seemed like the room filled with people all of a sudden, I was moving and there were arms holding me down, as well as M pushing the gas into my face despite me repeatedly saying ‘NO!’. I tried to push it away and Jamie told her that I didn’t want it, but she pushed it into my face again. I breathed some in and began throwing up, this vomiting stayed for most of the labour - I threw up with every contraction and the only time I had relief was when C applied pressure to certain points in my wrist.
A few attempts were made like this, then when it still wasn’t working, they stopped for a while. During this time I was told repeatedly by M that it had to be done and that obviously I couldn’t handle the pain, that I couldn’t go on like this and that I needed to think about pain relief.I had in my Birth Plan that I would prefer not to have pain relief during labour, but at this point - shaking uncontrollably, vomiting and afraid, M talked me into an epidural. I was begging for a Caesar, but M said that they couldn’t stop now.
For the epidural I sat on the edge of the bed with my feet on a step and Jamie crouched in front of me so I could concetrate on him. Somehow I managed to stop shaking long enough for the epidural to go in, the was a ‘POP’ like sensation, I was told the result would be immediate, but I was still in pain.They removed the epidural and tried again, this time during a contraction, I cried out ‘PAIN!’ to let them know I was in pain, Dr K said - ‘Just breath through it’.
When this epidural went in I felt a funny warmth sensation down my butt and it went numb. My butt, genitals and legs were numb, but I still had feeling in my back, my feet, most of my abdomen and the top of my groin, thus while the edge was taken off the contractions I was still in a huge amount of pain.Midwives and Dr were happy as they could now attach the monitor to Jet’s head without any trouble from me. But again it took several attempts and in the end Dr B had to do it. The drip hadn’t been set up yet but I had still dilated quite quickly, approx 6cms I think?? Yet they went ahead with the drip.
I continued vomiting - I could not eat or drink and they began pushing fluids through the drip so I wouldn’t dehydrate.
Pain stayed horrid and intense the whole time, firstly it was mainly in my lower back so C and then Jamie jammed their fingers into my back to help try and ease it.The pain then moved to the top of my groin and was quite unbearable, I remember asking K if the epidural could be turned up or could I get more or something and Jamie telling her that I was in pain, she said that was it, that I couldn’t get anymore. I then had heat packs which provided little relief but was better than nothing.Dr K came back and said I was fully dilated and that I could start pushing with each contraction.
I was absolutely exhausted and in amongst the pain, I tried to rest, sleep and push all at once.During the time that Dr K was gone I heard people come in and out a few times and ask Jamie if I was asleep, I was so exhausted that I couldn’t open my eyes, I tried to shake my head to say that no, I was awake.When Dr K came back, I heard her ask K if I had been pushing, K told her I had been sleeping. They began discussing ventouse and she then noticed that I was watching/listening, I told her that they could pull Jet out, I didn’t mind and so they set up for a ventouse delivery.Br B came to help and ending up attaching the ventouse to Jet’s head because Dr K couldn’t get it right.
The ventouse failed so they moved on to foreceps. Again Dr B had to help, Jet was finally born at 6:46pm, S the student midwife delivered the placenta.

Jamie wrote this 5/03/07:
It all started with one of the two, breaking her water or placing something on baby’s head to monitor heart rate. As K started the process April started crying out in pain, the nurses grabbed April’s right arm to keep her still, I was holding her other hand (left). As the pain became unbearable they offered April the stuff you suck down your throat, starts with ‘p’, one breath of that and April said it tasted disgusting and spat it out, maybe she threw up shortly after. Or maybe a second offering of it, but April shook her head no.
Then came the scream of a woman in serious pain, after that the option of an epidural was discussed and April conceded that she would need it. Although it helped a little, it did not stop April throwing up every contraction. But one thing I remember was the look of one nurse/midwife, it was a look of resentment that April wasn’t coping with the pain - a look of annoyance that April was struggling, I don’t know her name, but I remember the face.